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By: Kaleigh Nobbe, Clinical Intern

 

One way in which I try to work with clients is in identifying judgment: “good or bad;” “right or wrong.” When we replace these judgments with “helpful or unhelpful,” “beneficial or unbeneficial,” we can start understanding the value it has in our life. For example, if a friendship is unbeneficial, I may question if they have any respect for me since their actions indicate otherwise. The friendship may still be judged as “good” because I can call them my friend, but in the long run, I am missing respect and ultimately not benefitting.

What does/doesn’t this benefit?

What does/doesn’t this help?

It is all a subjective experience that others cannot decide for us. When we decipher our own goals, we can determine if our actions are then beneficial to reaching that goal. It is a hard line to tow as our goals may contradict our feelings. Clarifying what is more important to us can be a helpful step in obtaining the life we desire.

If you would like to learn more about how to understand and work with your emotions, reach out to Owens & Associates at (847)854-4333 for a free 15-minute consultation.